One Fxxked Up Semester...but I Ain't Giving Up Yet Cos I Don't Lose Easily

Phew...the finals are finally over and I guess it's okay to say that I'm done for the semester. Not only am I happy but am I also glad that 4 months of university hell in Canada is over. Despite living by myself without the supervision of my parents in Canada for 4 months is difficult, I'm amazed with the fact that I'm still in one piece. Before coming to Canada, I thought that my mum was right about me not lasting for a week in Canada by myself ever since I reflected on my lazy and dependable lifestyle back in Malaysia. The fact that I failed to do something as simple as closing a birthday cake box really freaked me out and even convinced me that my mum was right. Nevertheless, seeing that I'm still alive and in good shape, I guess I can feel proud of myself because I manage to proof my mum and myself wrong. Although I managed to take good care of myself, the first 4 months in Canada haven't been really enjoyable for me.

One of the reasons behind this unpleasantness is my mum's call. Having her to call me is great actually...in fact it's marvelous knowing that someone from my family still actually gives a damn about me. But the fact that she calls me almost everyday can be very annoying. During our conversation, she'll be going through the same lecture on what to do, how to do and what not to do over and over. She'll often repeat the basics that I'm already aware of and no matter how many times I tell her that I'm aware of it, she'll still insist on going through the lecture one more time. I truly understand that she's concerned about me, I mean which parent wouldn't be worried about their child living all alone in an alien place but there's a line between being concerned and assuming that they're hopeless. Considering her usual routine on our phone conversation, I think that she over crossed the border line of being concerned and started to venture into the assuming-that-Shenji-is-hopeless line. I'll have to admit that I'm hopeless at time since I just said earlier on that I couldn't even close a birthday card box but I have been telling my mum over and over again that if I'm practically having trouble with anything I would ask her for help. I really appreciate her concerned but sometimes it can be really annoying to be going through lectures like these. Apart from the routine lectures that my mum gives, the fact that we often get into an argument over the phone irritates and sometimes anger me. Petty issues that we discuss over the phone usually turns out into an argument where all the 18 and above verbal abuse are traded among one another. I still clearly remember that I got into an argument over the phone with my mum the moment I told her that I thought about getting a PS3. A small thought of mine which clearly hasn't been a solid confirmation of buying a PS3 is sufficient for my mum to assume that I was eager to buy the expensive video game console. Knowing that I wanted to get Sony's third generation console, my mum blasted me with remarks about how spendrift am I and threats about cutting my allowance if my spendrift behaviour continues. Hearing those assumption really offended me and angered me which consequently tempted me to argue back all in the name of standing up for myself. Getting calls from my mum and arguing with her over the phone was one of the reasons that made my stay in Canada unpleasant.

Besides that, the group of people who I usually hang out with is another reason why I conclude that the first 4 months in Canada have been horrible. Unlike my group of friends back in Malaysia which mostly consist of girls, my usual hang out group in Canada were mostly guys. The change in my social life didn't really bothered me at first since I thought it would be adventurous to try another side of friendship. However, the moment I was exposed to the true side of the guys in the group, I realized why I prefer hanging out with girls. The guys here can be described in 2 words: self-centered assholes! ( okay that's 3 words). Everyday, they'll be bragging about the sports car they have, the girls they court and what "cool" (which I find most of the time stupid) things they did back in their country ( they're all non Canadians). These egoistic jerk offs will dominate the entire conversation by talking about themselves and they always expect all attention on them. Just imagine how self centered these bastards are. Another annoying part about these boys is that they think that their social life back in their country is more superior than mine which I can never understand why they think so. How can their lifestyle filled with illegal street racing, clubbing under the heavy influence of alcohol and sleeping around with girls can be much better than my lifestyle which consist of daily Muay Thai training, news surfing, book reading and paint balling with good friends? That is one heck of a mystery. Furthermore, the fact that they think its so cool to cheat on their girl friends back in their country really sickens and embarrass me to be associated with these bunch of idiots. The way they justify they're acts by claiming it as an open relation ship with their girl friend just disgust me. Sometimes,I even wonder how bastards like these can even get a girl friend. Its really ironic seeing that all of them think that they are better than me when they can't even take good care of themselves. I remembered one of their parents called me up to make sure that I take good care of their son, not to mention these so called better-than-me guys even paid me to do their university assignments. The most pathetic experience with them was the moment they compared races. The incident where these two Indian guys were constantly reminding me that the penis of Eastern Asian men were relatively the smallest in the world and because of that they thought that Indian and Pakistani males were more superior than Chinese, Japanese and Korean males couldn't be forgotten. Judging from what they said, it wouldn't be exaggerating to conclude that these "gentlemen" are nothing but a bunch of good for nothing brainless immature dick heads. Of all things that they could have compared, they decided to compare dicks. What kind of ignorant shit is this? So what if we Eastern Asians have small sexual organ?The reason those thing are small is because most of our muscles went to our brain instead of that part. That clearly explained how China developed into a super economic power in the 21st century, how Japan and Korea became an Asian icon for technological progress. They failed to realized that they're so called "pride" didn't help India and Pakistan to overcome over population, high rate of unemployment and poverty; yet they still argue that their race is superior than Eastern Asians. Even though China has a high rate of population, at least the Chinese government was brilliant enough to convert the excess population into armies which makes China the second strongest military power ever since America. If they think that they're race is more superior than those of Eastern Asians, they're race would have thought of using a condom to control their nation's overpopulation in the first place. Geez...what a bunch of ignorant shit. Reasons like these clearly explain why I hate mixing with guys most of the time.

University has been hard on me . Unlike my days in ICPU, I had to take up to 5 subjects for my first semester in TRU. Having to balance my time for studies and to take care of daily chores was difficult for me. Sometimes I would spend a day not studying if I've got chores to do or not working on my chores if I've got assignments to do. I haven't been doing well in my subjects and come to think of it I'm really angry with myself. Every time when I reflect on the B and C's I got for my subjects, I feel awfully guilty as I have disappointed some of my ICPU juniors who look up to me and my Strike Team who never thought less about me. Nevertheless, I will strive harder to perform better in the upcoming semester to redeem myself . I noticed that the instructors at TRU are all hard markers which I find them very unreasonable. Petty mistakes in my assignments often result a massive lost of marks that really make a big difference between a C and a B or a B and an A. I guess they're doing that in the hope of getting TRU into the prestigious university rankings...which I believe is a harm on the student's marks and self esteem. The fact that TRU conned me also explains my unpleasant stay in Canada. In the early days of my stay at TRU, the new students were informed that the education process that takes place behind the class room doors will be guaranteed to be hyper interactive. There will be constant in class group discussions, group presentations and a tight communication between the students and the instructors...just like the good old days in ICPU. The moment I was informed about that, I was very delighted as I knew I would be reliving my glorious and wonderful years in ICPU. However, 4 months in TRU and all I can say is: bull shit. There isn't ANY of those said earlier on through out my stay in TRU. The learning process is exactly like secondary school back in Malaysia---chalk and talk. I feel completely ripped off and right now I'm opting to transfer out from this deceptive university. University isn't very nice to me for the moment being but I'm definitely not going to give up because of that.

Overall, this semester has been really screwed up, yet I managed to survive. Despite all the bad things I experienced in Canada, I managed to pull off a couple of good stuff. I managed to make a new best friend. Her name is Summer and she's really a nice girl. She has been looking out for me and the fact that she volunteered to cook dinner for me everyday the moment she knew I've been eating unhealthily due to my insufficient funds really touched me. Besides of making a new best friend, I managed to survive the utmost traumatic nightmare of my life---Precalculus. The Maths I took this semester was no different from the twisted and terrifying Add Maths I took when I was in form 4 and form 5. I remembered failing Add Maths constantly back in form 4 and form 5 which scarred my child hood and started this whole phobia of Maths for me. Nevertheless, with my constant practice, I managed to pass my Precalculus . Anyway, the Summer semester is in 2 weeks from now and I'm all gung ho to do better. Wish me luck guys.