What's on Shenji's Mind: Aoi Sora Merely Saves it From the Sewers of the Undead

Title: Kyonyu Dragon aka. Big Tits Zombie aka. 5 Strippers versus Hot Spring Zombies.

Starring: Aoi Sora, Kasumi Risa, Sakurai Mari

Director: Nakano Takao.

When it comes to Japanese splatter action movies, the unfathomable degree of absurdity featured in such movies never fails to accompany the exaggerated amount of sprinkler-spraying gore that often leaves audiences staggered if not disgusted. One does not have to watch the full-length movie to realize such characteristics of Japanese splatter action movies as a 2 to 3 minutes glimpse of the video trailer will suffice. As I was browsing for interesting movies to kill my free time with during one of my recent visits to the video shop, I came across a crude titled Japanese movie called "Big Tits Zombie". With the words "Aiyo..." written on my forehead and a huge slap of utter disbelief about the movie's poorly scripted title (not to mention how the alternate title for the movie such as 5 Strippers vs. Hot Spring Zombies which I later found out, accelerated the sense of awkwardness), I convinced myself that Japanese splatter action movies are rotting beyond the point of help (just like Japanese zombie movies) seeing that their movie titles are equally bad as their movie content and presentation. Nevertheless, behind all the extreme dismay for the ridiculously titled movie, curiosity as to how bad this seemingly low-budget movie can be, prompted me to read the blurb featured on the back of the DVD. Surprisingly, Kyonyu Dragon's (I'll be using this title instead of its ridiculous alternatives) story plot was interesting enough to make me learn more about the movie. Furthermore, the fact that Kyonyu Dragon was adapted from a manga with the same name and the movie's lead cast (Aoi Sora) seemed very attractive (as I later learned that she was a Japanese adult video idol...ahem), I decided to give the movie a shot. As the movie's credits rolled, I was surprised to learn that Kyonyu Dragon wasn't as bad as I dread it would be.

Kyonyu Dragon speaks the tale of 5 exotic dancers struggling to survive the humanity devouring zombie outbreak that has befall Japan. After curiously exploring a hidden entrance to an underground cellar that leads to a dark and sinister basement of an abandoned haunted spa resort which holds a grim past, the dancers discover the Well of Spirits and and a huge collection of occult journals in the basement. Among the occult journals is a 16th century Italian Book of the Dead that grabs the interest of one of the dancers who happened to be an intellect and a book-worm . As she reads a Latin phrase from the ancient book, she unintentionally provoked the Well of Spirits which unleashes the souls of the deceased, bringing the dead back to life in their decomposed form. It was only a matter of time the dead rise from their graves plunging Japan into a zombie apocalyptic nightmare as the dead devours every living thing in their path. Already struggling to stay alive, the exotic dancers must now return to the origin of the hell-spawn or die trying in order to seal the Well of Spirits once and for all should they wish to save their country from becoming a permanent ground for the walking dead. Although there are other zombie movies with a better story (especially the American ones), nevertheless Kyonyu Dragon still presents a fairly interesting story.

However like every other Japanese splatter action movies, Kyonyu Dragon reveals its decomposed rotten side with incomprehensible nonsense and exaggerated display of gore . From the presence of ridiculous zombie characters like zombie ninja, zombie samurai and even zombie sushi to a zombie that breathes fire from her vagina, one cannot help but to give a slap on his or her forehead in complete disbelief. Another example to illustrate how dumb this movie can be is a scene depicting one of the strippers negotiating with a horde of zombies which are close to devouring her, by offering a lollipop and flashing her breasts in exchange for her life which was ironic given her superior intellect to realize that the dead cannot be reasoned with. Grotesque bloody scenes of mutilation and body dismemberment in zombie movies are quite common if one is familiar with other zombie titles especially from the George A. Romero series. However Kyonyu Dragon takes advantage of such norm by stepping the gore level up to the point of being ludicrous. Scenes of zombies dining on the organs of a naked and mutilated female hot-spring resort keeper in a nyotaimori manner may be tolerable but the sight of the heroine dancers showering half naked in zombie gore after decapitating it with a katana and chainsaw is not only disgusting but also totally unnecessary display of sexual suggestive theme. Given that Kyonyu Dragon shares a spot under the Japanese splatter action category, one should not expect much common sense and decency from such type of movies.

Conversely, there is always two sides to a coin and Kyonyu Dragon happens to have some remarkable characteristics. First of all, the movie tries to deliver the theme of sisterhood, friendship and loyalty beyond death as it can be exemplified by one of the heroine embracing her zombie sister and another heroine making sure that her fallen friends are fairly compensated by the manager. Second of all, the fight scenes are not as horrible as one would think given how absurd this movie is. Although they are not really that great, they are not that bad either seeing that the katana and chainsaw fight scenes were fairly enjoyable to watch. Third of all, the movie features a variety of characters with interesting background. Although the heroines in this movie share a common job as an exotic dancer or stripper, each of them has its own unique characteristics and background. Fourth of all, Kyounyu Dragon does not disappoint its lustful audiences since the movie offered an unforgettable topless cat fight scene. The best part of Kyonyu Dragon would come from the ability of the cast to present their roles amazingly. Even the main villain of the movie who displayed atrocious treachery in the story is still adored by the audiences as she did a great job presenting her character. However the lead cast Aoi Sora who played one of the dancers Lena Jodo, amazed the audiences the most with her load of charisma and humor that soothes the pain of ridiculous exaggeration which scarred the movie. Despite mostly known as an AV idol, Aoi Sora surprisingly packs a remarkable acting arsenal in addition to her physical sex appeal as she greatly molded her chainsaw zombie-slashing character Lena Jodo, into an unforgettable heroine. Fortunately for Kyonyu Dragon, the fact that the movie still presents some positive aspects-not to mention Aoi Sora's marvelous acting-have saved this action splatter movie from completely hitting the bottom of the undead's sewer.

As the movie's credits rolled, I was surprised to learn that Kyonyu Dragon wasn't as bad as I dread it would be. To sum it up, Kyonyu Dragon merely reaches a 5 out of 10. If it wasn't for Aoi Sora's charisma and humor that delighted the movie, Kyonyu Dragon would have completely turned into a rotten zombie-flick just like other Japanese zombie movies. Now that Aoi Sora has my attention, I'll be looking forward to her next movie...ahem...